It's odd to me the way the face changes from day to day
as though the changing weather pattern that is mood is printed on the face
from the inside,
coming from somewhere in the back of the mind,
at the base of the skull,
top of the spinal column,
creeping forward on the inside of the skull and leaking out the eye sockets.
Last night I finally found all that I have been looking for for atleast 4 days.
This morning, my hands were not numb from being curled inward against my chest as they have been most mornings past. I was splayed out on the mattress in the attic, only my underwear on, but warm as I watched the sky grow light, the moon jagged and cut in half, the clouds moving quickly, running.
This morning my eyes were soft and sad- but clear,
heavy lidded, sleepy eyes- but not tired.
And I wanted to apologize to Sean and my Mom, not because I am sorry for anything, but because I have not been here in my mind as I am now.
There were some things I needed to let go.